Like most people, when a long-eared, sweet-faced dog comes running up to me, I make noise like I’m talking to an infant and immediately bend down to offer him a few pets behind the ears.
People love dogs. It’s a fact. It’s proven with studies and backed up by movies, songs and in almost every great American novel. And really…what’s not to love?
Yet, beneath America’s unwavering love of our canine companions, is another group — a cluster of skeptics, admirers of independence and beautiful things.
Translation: Cat lovers.
If you think you might be like me, a card carrying #crazycatlady (or man), but aren’t quite sure, try some of these typical cat obsessed facts on for size:
1. You Have a Cat or Five
To fall in love with cats, you have to own them or be around them a lot. There is a hidden joke among cat owners that once you have one cat, you might as well get five of them. They are like tattoos, once you get one, you just can’t stop. Collect them all!
2. You Appreciate Them For Who They Are
Cats are assholes. Every single cat I’ve ever loved or been around is a self-centered, egotistical ball of fluff in his or her own way. The truth is cats do whatever the hell they want. They sleep when they want, eat when they want, ask for pets when they want and puke on your carpet whenever they want. However, they are very independent. They require very little upkeep — keep their food dish full, some fresh water in a bowl and show them where their litter box is and they are good to go.
3. Their Little Faces Slay You
I can be in the middle of any mundane task and seeing one of my cats enter the room instantly warms my dark soul.
Stressed? Angry? If looking at pictures of cats on Facebook or picking up your own furry feline makes you feel calm AF, then you are probably a lover of cats.
4. Cats Messes Don’t Phase You
Finding cat puke on the floor is never fun, but if you are truly a cat person, other things probably don’t bother you all that much. Imagine finding a little piece of their claw that shed or a fallen whisker on your couch; cute, right?
5. Friends Often Buy You All the Cat Things
Does your grandma buy you cat knickknacks at every yard sale she goes to? Is every birthday, Christmas and thank you card you receive cat themed? If your people constantly buy you shit with cats on it, then you are probably in the club.
6. You Daydream About Felines
While watching a movie, I’ll hear a character’s name and say to my husband, “That would make an awesome cat name.” He politely agrees and we move on with our night. Do you tell your best friend what color cat you want to add to your family next? Yeah, get on the bandwagon already!
7. You Want To Save Them All
Maybe you might be in cat rescue groups on Facebook or donate any extra dough to the local feral cat rescue group? Do you volunteer a couple of hours a week in the cat room at your local animal shelter? You definitely love these fur balls for sure if so!
8. Cat Naps Are a Legit Thing To You
It’s no secret that cats love to sleep. A simple Google search will claim the average cat sleep 12–16 hours per day. However, only true friends of felines know the absolute pleasure of taking a midday nap with a little kitty next to you. When you fall asleep with a cat on the bed next to you, the vibration from them purring away happily beside you is one of the most calming feelings to drift off to. They make awesome sleep partners! (Until, they wake you up at 3:00 AM wanting their food dish filled!)
9. Your Friends Tag You on Whacky Job Postings
One time there was an island somewhere in Greece that needed someone to run their cat sanctuary and live among over 50 cats. I got tagged on that one real quick! Then, a shelter in Ireland was seeking “cat cuddlers” another time, yep, my best friend sent that one to me, too. If your family and friends see these amazing job postings and immediately think of you, then you are most certainly a #crazycatlady.
10. You Call Cats Your Spirit Animal
Do you see cats almost everywhere you look? Have you been in the middle of an existential crisis and found yourself seeing cats on the television or another random place? Does seeing or petting a cat make you feel calmer or more fulfilled? Well friend, this is perhaps the biggest sign that you indeed a true follower of these adorable creatures.
If you answered yes to all or most of these items, then it’s time to pick out where your cat tattoo is going and submit your application to adopt your first (or fifth) kitty, because you are in fact in the club. Put on your cat ears headband, join the Cat-O-Holics Facebook group and let your proud pussy lover flag fly high!