“It’s a boy!” the technician said as she dragged the ultrasound wand over my 20-week belly. I immediately looked to my husband, who was sitting in the chair next to me, holding my hand. The look in his eyes was utter joy. He was going to have the son he had always wanted. I had a feeling it was going to be a boy — call it mother’s intuition or the feeling that my firstborn child would always be a boy, I just knew. It was a boy, and we were so darn excited!
Flash forward four years later, pregnancy #2 and #3 had resulted in loss, leaving #4 holding our breath and praying for our rainbow baby to be born full term. I secretly wanted a girl, though after that kind of loss, I honestly didn’t care as long as we got a healthy baby to complete our family. This time around, it was a phone call from my doctor’s office after I had an early genetic test done because of our other two losses. I answered the phone with a shaky hand, nervous at what they might have found in the testing. But, the nurse on the other end of the line immediately told me everything looked healthy and there were no markers of any abnormalities. “Do you want to know the gender, too?” she asked. Of course finding out the gender at 12 weeks was a blessed addition with this kind of testing, and we honestly wanted to know. As I agreed, the words, “It’s a boy!” reeled over the line and I just about dropped the phone. I was so sure I was carrying my long awaited baby girl in my belly this time, but alas, it was confirmed that day that I was to be a mother of only boys.
While I never thought I’d be a #boymom, I have to tell you that there are quite a few wonderful things about being a mom to only sons. Here are a few of them:
They are fiercely protective of their mother.
My two sons are ages 7 and 3 now. They are the best of friends (most of the time) and draw swords for each other anytime one of them gets in trouble. But, they also are this way with their mama. Sure, there aren’t many occasions where they see me in a scary predicament, but anytime they see their dad tickle me or the puppy jumps on me a little too rough, my two little knights ride in on their white horses. “Leave my mommy alone!” they say to their dad as he wraps me in a big bear hug from behind, them not quite understanding we are just fooling around. I laugh it off now, but I appreciate that I am raising little men that will not only defend my honor, but God willing, will defend any women they care about in the future as well should the opportunity ever arise.
They aren’t about the drama.
Listen, I am not one to use gender stereotypes in any way, shape or form, but when it comes to kids there are some that really can be applied in many cases. For example, boys tend to be less dramatic than little girls. I’m all about #girlpower and I also think the future is female, but let’s be honest, girls tend to bring the drama way more than boys, right? I may not have the pleasure of raising a little diva, but with my background in child development and a niece that I helped raise, I know what it is like to be around the little ladies. They are so much fun, lively and sweet, but small issues tend to be exacerbated greatly. Boys aren’t about the drama. Sure, they can be complainers, but usually they throw a few punches or yell for a few minutes and then they are done with it. As someone that isn’t about the drama myself, I really appreciate this as a mother of only boys.
Boys are full of adventure.
Being a mother is never boring. There are no days off and the chaos never ends. However, being a boy mom brings a special kind of said chaos. Boys are always on the go — jumping from one activity to the other before you can even clean up the previous one or catch a breath. They are loud, rough and quick. One minute they may request you to throw the baseball with them and the next they want to do finger paints. There is a saying that mothers of sons go from “son up to son down,” and there really is no better way to describe what it is like to raise these tiny men.
Watching your husband teach them.
When I found out that I wouldn’t have a daughter of my own, I was somewhat heartbroken.The dream I had of going to the salon together and having my own miniature version of myself to mold and encourage was really sad to me at first. But, I quickly realized that I was going to be a witness to something very, very special. Watching my husband mentor and teach our sons has been one of the highlights of my life. I love to see the twinkle in his eye as he teaches them something only a dad can show his son, like how to change a light bulb or polish his dress shoes. They both sit in his lap at night and ask to watch a “duck show,” while cuddled in the recliner, because they too, want to go duck hunting someday at dawn with their daddy who loves the sport. Of course I think the bond between a father and daughter is so very special as well, but watching the love of your life with two tiny versions of himself is something truly unique.
Raising a new generation of gentlemen.
While some mothers worry about raising boys in a post #metoo world, I do not. Not even one iota. In fact, I believe it is a great privilege to help raise the next generation of men. It is with us #boymoms that real changes will happen. I’m raising my sons to be respectful, polite and kind. I want them to value you women as friends, partners, co-workers and family members. I want them to lookout for the young woman in their college class that walks back to her dorm late after an evening class. I want them to hold doors, offer their jackets and not be afraid to share their emotions. Raising them to be good and decent men will be my greatest achievement in life.